For those who don't know much about history... here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter..

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1.
Liberals 2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery.

That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting
to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury
attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are
liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical workers, police officers, corporate
executives, athletes, marines, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for
a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America . The liberals crept in
after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more
for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.

A Conservative will simply laugh and knowing the absolute truth of this
history, he will be forwarding it immediately to other true believers and to
more liberals just to piss them off....

Ow

Just fucking ow.

From Prozac To Lithium

The physical relief I got from taking my new job has been absolutely great. After three months, I'm almost out of pain. The downside has been that the bullshit that comes with the job has triggered a major depressive episode. I'm sleeping 10 - 12 hours and waking up tired. Going in to work in a daze, leaving to run the route in a bigger one. So frustrated or pissed off within 2 hours that I can't concentrate. Yesterday I was ready to go ballistic at the first person that talked to me after my first stop for no reason. From walking around like I was stoned off my ass to ready to fight. By the end of the day, I was so hyper that I couldn't hardly stop talking. I'm going to have to get my meds reviewed and screened for bi-polar. This job has made me a complete mess. The self-confidence and strength I had in my old job went straight to hell. The only thing that reminds me that I still have control is a nice 80 mile-per-hour run down the freeway on my bike. The one thing that everyone thought would kill me has been the thing that helped me most. But for the job, I could get more therapy from it. Fuck the job. My sanity has to come first.

Don't Get Greedy

I'm not dead yet you rat bastards.

Holy Shit

Chris Benoit is dead.

Two In A Row

This is the second straight holiday I've spent home due to stormy weather. What a waste of a 3 day weekend.

Damned Texas Weather

It’s been said that if you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes and it’ll change. Today was one of those days. When I left the house to go riding, it was a nice, sunny 68°F outside and breezy. I just got home and my fingers are still tingling and numb. Within 30 minutes, the temperature had dropped to 53°F, cloudy and windy. I could really go for a hot tub right now. Brrrr.

My New Addiction

It isn't hard to get hooked on them either. This is it here

I Finally Did It

I went and got my nipples pierced tonight. It's true what they say too. The second one hurts more than the first one. Still kicks ass though.

Yippie!!!!!

W00T! The Transportation Safety Administration approved my Hazardous Materials Endorsement to my driver’s license. MO MONEY!!!

ARGHH!!

Getting hurt sucks. Getting hurt at work isn’t as bad though since I don’t end up paying for the medical bills. But being on restricted duty is beginning to bore the ever living hell out of me. Stitches come out Thursday, so hopefully not to long before I can get back to my regular routes and paychecks. On the lighter side, I was sober for 2 weeks. :-/