Wednesday, December 10, 2025

So tired, it never stops, it will never stop

  Every time I see her I feel like I'm about to burst into tears, the smile, the eyes, pure beauty that I wish I could wake up to every day. And yet so jealous of everything she has that I never can. To be 22 again with her build, that incredible face and bone structure.

  Moods are cycling, brain is being an insufferable bitch, bipolar is trying to take me to another dimension. It's starting to feel like I don't belong here anymore. I just want it to stop, please just make it fucking stop.

  It will probably be at the end of next week before I get the lab results back from this round of tests. I hope it's cancer, I pray that it's terminal, I hope that it will come quickly. I hope it hurts so that I can feel something other than depression.

  I don't know why I've kept trying to fight through an unwinnable never ending battle. I should have surrendered a long time ago, but there will be no white flag. Just a simple white sheet covering an icy metal table, it's almost time for me to rest. Behold, the grave beckons.

Monday, September 03, 2012

The truth as I see it and a little history, too.

I originally posted this on Facebook this morning. Please share with your friends and neighbors.


"As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims],—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Muslim] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries." Article 11 of The Treaty of Tripoli as penned by President John Adams.

"By their actions, the Founding Fathers made clear that their primary concern was religious freedom, not the advancement of a state religion. Individuals, not the government, would define religious faith and practice in the United States. Thus the Founders ensured that in no official sense would America be a Christian Republic. Ten years after the Constitutional Convention ended its work, the country assured the world that the United States was a secular state, and that its negotiations would adhere to the rule of law, not the dictates of the Christian faith." - Frank Lambert, Professor of History at Purdue University

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Tripoli#Article_11

If anything, I believe that this country needs to return to some real traditional values. Respect for all people, respect for Earth Mother, and Sky Father, respect for the waters that sustain us and the trees that provide us with fresh air, respect for the animals that provide our food, and above all else, honoring our elders. The indigenous tribes of this nation took care of their own, if they didn't the tribe as a whole could not survive. As long as those values are left forgotten, this land will continue to suffer, and so will the people that call it home.

Image obtained from http://kirbysattler.sattlerartprint.com/  All rights reserved by the original artist and used with the artist's permission.

jenzie

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Overdue, But Not Forgotten

I know this is the first update I’ve made in several months and the first one of 2011. After almost a year, something finally snapped and World of Warcraft’s grip on me seems to have been broken, at least for the time being. I’m still unemployed and avidly searching for a job. I knew it was bad, but damn this is ridiculous. People ask me if I think the name change has anything to do with it, and I tell them no. No other woman has issues related to their name after getting married, so why should I? What ever the case may be, I’m starting to come out of a slump and I’m looking forward to what this year has to bring.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

I'm still kickin

Just not very hard.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Wonderful Start To The Year

Yesterday was great and officially marks the beginning of my new life. I went before a judge and was granted an order to legally change my name to Jenna as well as ordering my name AND gender to be changed on my driver’s license, birth certificate, and all of my other legal documents. Ironically, I also picked up my associate of applied science degree yesterday, too. Now I have to order another one with the new name on it. No big deal though. I’ve accomplished a lot in the last year. I completed my degree, had a major surgery that needed to b e done, started electrolysis, changed my name and gender legally, paid off my house, re-established my credit, and came clean with my mother about why I had been so miserable for so long. Here’s to hoping 2010 will bring me a great job and bring me closer to feeling complete in every way possible.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's About Time

I'm about to put this blog to good use. I'm going to start transcribing my diary entries onto this site. This should end well.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Expanded Definition

WHAT IS CRYSTALLIZATION?

Crystallization is a complex but highly valued process in the petrochemical and manufacturing industries. Crystallization is described as the process of producing crystals through the precipitation of a solute from a solvent, a melt, or by being directly deposited from a gas. This can be accomplished through a variety of methods including, but not limited to, cooling, evaporation or chemical processes.
With the fast growth of the chemical industry in the last 100 years, the demand for the study of crystallization dynamics has increased greatly. Variations of this process have been used for thousands of years, and today many types of equipment are used depending on the product needed and the cost involved. From plastics, petrochemicals, pharmaceuticals, and food products, the process of crystallization is considered an important industrial process due to the large number of materials marketed as crystalline particles. Some of the many products which rely on crystallization in the manufacturing process include:

• Ascorbic Acid
• Bisphenol-A-Adduct
• Boric Acid
• Caffeine
• Calcium Chloride
• Potassium Phosphate
• Salicylic Acid
• Silver Nitrate
• Vitamin C
A sample of boric acid crystals.
The crystallization process is a type of unit operation that begins by dissolving a chemical compound into a given solvent creating a mixture called mother liquor. The solute substance is precipitated from the mother liquor under controlled conditions. In order to obtain effective control over the process, importance is placed on controlling retention time and crystal mass. The goals are to achieve the most favorable conditions for the development of crystal specific surface and the fastest possible growth.
The crystallization process is made up of two major events. These are referred to as the nucleation phase and the crystal growth phase. Nucleation is the step where the dissolved molecules which have been dispersed in the solvent begin to form into clusters that become stable under the current operating conditions. These stable clusters constitute the nuclei. Whenever these clusters remain unstable, they begin to redissolve. Therefore, the clusters need to reach a critical size in order to become stable nuclei. Such critical size is dictated by the operating conditions of the particular process used (temperature, pressure, supersaturation, etc.). It is at the stage of nucleation that the atoms become arranged in a defined and periodic manner that will define the crystal structure. Crystals are formed following a well-defined structure that is established by forces that work on the molecular level. As a consequence, during its formation process, the crystal is in an environment where the solute concentration reaches a certain critical value before changing phases.
The main factors influencing solubility are concentration and temperature. The formation of solid crystals, which cannot take place below the solubility threshold at the given temperature and pressure conditions, takes place at a concentration higher than the theoretical solubility level. This fundamental factor in the crystallization process, referred to as supersaturation, is the difference between the actual value of the solute concentration at the crystallization limit and the theoretical solubility threshold. Supersaturation is the main factor behind the initial nucleation step and the crystal growth that follows, neither of which can occur in saturated or undersaturated conditions.